Seeking More Page 2

  She needed to let the idea simmer. Always. No matter how bright and shiny a concept was, she needed to let it take on more shape before she dove into the actual work. When she didn’t, the ideas fell flat.

  In the meantime, she was going to enjoy this day out with Miles, and try to win this contest. Long shot, sure, but she had to try.

  They pulled into the cafe parking lot. The closest open spot was several rows back. She didn’t mind the stroll to the entrance, but she wasn’t looking forward to the place being crowded.

  When they got inside, the line to order was almost out the door. At least half a dozen people waited for to-go orders, and most of the tables were occupied.

  “Save us a seat.” Miles pointed her toward a table for two near the window. “I’ll get you coffee and a cherry cheese danish.”

  Her favorite. “All right. Good luck.”

  She claimed their chairs, and watched him wait in line. He really was her favorite site. Strong jaw, dark hair, and today just a hint of beard on his chin.

  She shouldn’t have suggested they come here. When she mentioned it, she saw him hesitate. Was he going to make her explain how her heart was broken here?

  It was true, she’d spent a Valentine’s Day here, and that her date had walked out on her. But it wasn’t his fault. At the time, she’d been too lost in her own moping to be good company.

  Just a few weeks before the date, she’d come in here and seen Miles with some random one-night stand. They’d been in the corner cuddling and giggling, with the girl practically in his lap.

  They’d been so caught up in each other, Miles didn’t see Ivy come in or leave.

  When she’d asked him about it a few days later, he shrugged the whole thing off. She was all right. A fun lay. Okay at conversation, but not great. She wasn’t my type though.

  The response should have reassured Ivy. Instead, it sat heavy in her gut. If he could give a random date that kind of attention, and look that happy, was he fooling Ivy the same way? Pretending to enjoy her company?

  She knew better, but self-doubt could be an ugly beast. And it still made her wonder why Ms. In-His-Lap got that kind of attention from him, and Ivy couldn’t.

  Being back in here though was easing the knot in her chest. When he joined her a short while later, he handed her coffee that had the perfect amounts of cream and sugar, and a delicious looking pastry on a plate.

  They ate in silence for a few minutes. It was too loud for decent conversation, but she wanted to try. “I should have thought this through better. There’s nothing really unique in here to take a photo of.” The stuff on the walls was standard stock art of random buildings.

  He looked around them. “Their pastries are unique.”

  “I guess.” She stared at him in profile as he studied the dining room. Inspiration struck for the second time in just a short while. “I’ve got it.”

  “What are you thinking?” He gave her his full attention.

  “You. You’re in this place, and you’re unique.” That was an understatement.

  “You’re going to take a photo of me?”

  She didn’t need excuses to take his picture, but she’d still take any opportunity she could find. “You, in this place. We’ll put you somewhere that’s identifiable, and no one else will have a picture like that.” And it would help her build new memories of him and here.

  “It’s a bit crowded for a good photo. Not that I mind. You point me to a place, and I’m your subject.”

  She crammed the rest of her pastry in her mouth. “Mmpfh” Which was supposed to be okay, I’m ready.

  “Oh yeah, I can do that too.” He mimicked her with his muffin, making his cheeks puff out.

  It was childish, but it was fun. She washed her food down with coffee. “No hurry, though.”

  “I’m ready.” He pushed back from the table. “Here. Hold my drink.”

  “Pretty sure it’s supposed to be hold my beer.”

  He raised an eyebrow, but amusement shone in his eyes. “It’s a little early for that, young lady.”

  “Fair enough. This way.” She grabbed his hand and tugged him toward an empty side hallway that led toward the restrooms and employees only area. This should give them enough space to get a quick pic in.

  She posed him against a wall with hints of the store name on it. “It’s too bad we can’t do topless pics. That’d definitely get us some votes.”

  “Sounds like a challenge to me.” He shed his jacket, dropped it at his feet, and started unbuttoning his shirt.

  “What are you doing?” she hissed, and covered his hand. She didn’t really want him to stop. She’d seen him shirtless before, but that was no reason to pas up the opportunity again.

  He winked. “Ask and ye shall received. You probably don’t have much time. Make that photo quick.” He shrugged his shirt from his shoulders.

  “Excuse me.” A new voice cut through the chatter from the room. “Sir you need to put your shirt on and leave.” A woman in a store shirt and hat stood at the kitchen entrance, shooting daggers at them with her glare.

  Ivy’s heart dropped into her stomach, and humiliation spread through her.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Miles laughed as they walked from the cafe. The scowl on the employee’s face was priceless. Not that he wanted to piss anyone off, but it was such a benign thing to do.

  He glanced at Ivy, and clamped his mouth shut when he saw her scowl. “What’s wrong?”

  “That was humiliating.”

  He knew she didn’t have the same tolerance for being obnoxious in public, but her irritation caught him off-guard. Two minutes ago she was teasing him about taking his shirt off.

  “No one got hurt, and it gave the employees something to talk about later,” he said.

  She pursed her lips. “That’s not comforting.

  Inspiration struck, and he tugged her to the side of the building, next to the mural-style diner sign. “Take my picture here.”

  “I guess.” Her frown deepened.

  “What’s wrong?” He wanted to see her smiling again, so they could have fun the rest of the day.

  A sharp gust of wind tore around them, ripping at her hair and kicking up the leaves caught in the alcove into a mini-tornado.

  “Nothing. I’m being dumb.” A smile appeared, but didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll take the picture.” She fumbled with her phone, then dropped it back in her purse and blew on her fingers. She rubbed her arms through her jacket.

  He tugged her to him, and wrapped his arms around her. “Come here. Warm up.” It was supposed to be a friendly embrace, but heat seared through clothing and winter coats, singing his senses. With her this close, it was impossible to ignore her familiar scent—the faintest hint of turpentine underlying the lavender of her body wash. The combination was distinctly Ivy, and a whiff had the ability to fill his thoughts with wicked fantasy.

  Miles swallowed the surge of desire, and it took all his self control to keep from tracing his nose along the side of her neck. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “I had this flash of hope that maybe we’d replace an old memory with a new, better one. It wasn't like that was a super big deal, but it wasn’t exactly happy fun time.”

  “None of it was fun?”

  A soft laugh escaped. “Watching you shove half a muffin in your mouth at once was entertaining.”

  “So focus on that part. And hand me your camera.”

  She fished the device from her purse without breaking from his grasp, and handed it over her shoulder.

  He unlocked it, switched to front camera, and held it in front of them, focusing to take a selfie. “Smile.”

  “Nope.” She turned away to face him. “You’re not tricking me into that. This is a picture of you.”

  “Fine.” This was both better and so much worse.

  Her chest was pressed to his, and she watched him with wide blue eyes. She licked her lips.

  Fuck, this was definitely worse. As he snapp
ed the photo, he leaned in. He meant to brush his lips over hers, but when he made contact, it was harder than he thought to pull away. “Something unique.” He managed to keep his voice steady. A hint of sweet coffee and sugar lingered on his lips.

  Her scowl started him. She snatched her phone back. “Is anything sacred to you?”

  “Lots of things.” What did he do now?

  She swiped at her phone as she walked toward his car. “I’m posting this, so we can get the next clue.” Her tone had turned as icy as the weather.

  “Ivy. Talk to me.” He fell into step beside her.

  “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. You’re a better kisser than I remembered.”

  The words might mean more if she didn’t speak them in a flat monotone.

  He refused to be brushed off. “What did I do?” He got why the stuff inside annoyed her, but this... Fuck, he was an idiot. “It’s because I didn’t ask, isn’t it? I’m sorry.” Apparently that was a line in their friendship. Reasonable. He shouldn’t have assumed.

  She shook her head and wrenched the passenger door open before he could get it for her. “That’s not it. Don’t worry about it.”

  But he was worried about it, and he was irritated that she was closing off from him like this. Their friendship didn’t work that way.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Ivy wasn’t being fair. The loud voice at the front of her mind wouldn’t let her ignore that fact.

  Miles had apologized for what he should have. And she could have either told him it was all right, or explained why it wasn’t all right to ask forgiveness instead of permission.

  But she didn’t want an apology. She didn’t want him to be sorry for kissing her. She didn’t want the moment to be meaningless or easily shrugged off or to place her in the same category as every other woman he dated once then never spoke to again.

  And if she wasn’t willing to tell him that, she couldn’t expect him to read her mind and know.

  Damn it. She hated when her brain got all logical. Why couldn’t it insist instead that she throw caution to the wind and kiss him back? Why had she destroyed that pocket of bliss by getting mad for the wrong reasons?

  And now she’d made a big deal out of it, she couldn’t just drop things and pretend it never happened.

  Miles sat in the driver’s seat, keeping the car idling, and staring straight ahead. His jaw was clenched, and his lips drawn into a thin line.

  Her phone buzzed with a new email, and she reached for it, grateful for the distraction. It was the next task. “Should we keep going with the competition?”

  “I’d rather you talk to me first.”

  Ivy sighed and dug through her jumbled emotions for something to make this right. She touched his arm, drawing his gaze. “There’s nothing to talk through.” That was as close to the truth as she could manage. “I’m being touchy and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

  Except magically discover she fantasized about all the incredible ways they could have sex. It would have to be magic, since she still wasn’t saying anything.

  “You’d tell me if there was?”

  She hated and adored the sincerity in his voice. And if this were any other issue at all, she’d spill without hesitation. She couldn’t outright lie to him though. “It's me I’m upset with. I shouldn’t project that on you.”

  He searched her face, his brows pinched, then shook his head. “All right. Where are we going next?”

  “It says to recreate a favorite childhood memory.” She had a lot of those. Several of them included Miles, but she’d lived a decent life in general. Sure, there were some dark clouds. That incident in high school...

  She wasn’t dwelling there. Today was about happiness... and maybe that grand prize. What should she pick to recreate?

  “Give me a direction.” His playfulness was gone.

  “I don’t know. There are too many.”

  He sighed.

  So much for dropping her wishy-washiness and moving on. She still blamed him for the kiss. She only had herself to blame for telling him it was nothing, when it was very clearly something.

  That was it. The one place they used to go in high school that was always fun. Before the big fight and after they made amends. Maybe it would lighten the mood again. He’d always enjoyed it as much as her. “Let’s go to that park by the lake.”

  “No. Pick someplace else.” The sharp edge in his reply startled her.

  She wasn’t imagining the fun they’d had there in the past, so what was she missing? “Why not?”

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal.” He leveled a narrow-eyed gaze at her.

  She clenched her fists and a growl escaped without her permission. So much for letting the matter drop.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Miles didn’t know where this went next. This entire thing was a bad idea. The note. Agreeing to go with Ivy. Letting down his defenses...

  What the fuck was he thinking, kissing her? Now she was pissed off, he couldn’t get the faint tease out of his thoughts, and she wanted to go back to the last place they were when they shared a kiss.

  Was she being frustrating on purpose? Was he supposed to infer something from all of this? He was used to people playing mind games, but not Ivy. She was direct. She was honest. It was one of the many reasons he adored her.

  “Fine, I’ll tell you.” Her voice softened.

  He rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to go back and forth like this all day. “Don’t do me any favors.”

  “Do you want to know or not?”

  He really did, because for the life of him, he couldn’t figure it out. “I’m listening.” He kept his reply kind. No reason to drag them through another round of aggravation.

  “I hate that you didn’t mean it.” Her voice was tiny.

  He glanced at her to see her studying her fingers as she wove them together then untangled them.

  “Mean what?”

  Her shoulders slumped. Seconds ticked away. They should have stayed inside. The windows were fogging.

  “The kiss,” she finally said. “Today. I hate that you think it’s a throw-away gesture. A few years ago, I saw you in the cafe. You were laughing and having a blast with some woman you told me a few days later was just okay. I hate that you put me in the same category as someone whose name you probably don’t even remember, with that kiss.”

  No. He couldn’t even fathom... Ivy was in a class of her own. “I would never do that on purpose. You don’t belong the same category as any other person in the world. You’re Ivy. No one else compares.”

  “I’m not sure that’s comforting.” She sank lower in her seat.

  She didn’t understand this was all for her. The note. Keeping his distance. Wanting to see her happy with someone who adored her.

  Miles tipped her chin up with his finger, so he could look her in the eye. “I swear, I’d move mountains for you. Haven’t I always?”

  She tried to pull away, but he cupped her cheek.

  “Yes,” she said.

  “And if kissing you makes you think otherwise, I’ll never do it again.” The promise tasted foul, and a fist clenched around his chest with the words.

  The corner of her mouth tugged up. “I didn’t say that. Let's not be too hasty.”

  That sounded like an invitation. He dipped his head to claim her mouth, more softly than before, but letting himself linger longer. He wanted to crash down on her lips. To devour her. To take this to the next level.

  She sighed and leaned into the kiss. He glided his tongue along the seam of her lips, and she parted them to let him in.

  His pulse hammered in his ears, and his cock strained against his slacks. Keep going, the chant was loud in his skull.

  No. She wasn’t his. Not like this. A deep kiss muddied the waters too much.

  So what’s a little more?

  He didn’t have a good response, but that was probably because all of the blood had rushed from his head. He forced himself
to break away. He shouldn’t have done that at all, but fuck it felt good.

  “Park near the lake?” The question came out more gruffly than he wanted it to. He should ask her again to pick another place. The world fell away at that park. It was too easy to forget the reasons he shouldn’t pursue her.

  She traced her fingers along her bottom lip. “Are you going to tell me why you don’t want to?” Her reply was breathy.

  That would be fair. A secret for a secret. But some of my most intense fantasies of fucking you take place there, would take the conversation in a direction he didn’t want to go. Regardless of whether her response was positive or negative. “I was being an ass. No other reason.”

  Her raised eyebrow said she didn’t buy his answer, but she didn’t push for more.

  They hit the road. It was late enough the morning commute had thinned, but early enough all other traffic was still light.

  Miles didn’t want to travel in stilted silence. “How’s the Firefly fanart going?”

  “Shiny. I’ll send you a couple of mockups later. I’ll be set for the con in April.”

  “Do I get an early sneak peek?”

  “Hmm... You might have to bribe me.”

  He’d trade another kiss... or more. “Quad shot caramel latte with chocolate and whipped cream? Iced?”

  Her delighted clap was exaggerated and adorable. “You know me so well. All right. That gets you a peek at the art early. And feel free to treat yourself to something as well.”

  “You’re so generous.” He laughed and pointed the car toward their favorite coffee drive thru. Since their breakfast was truncated, this would make up for it.

  It didn’t matter that the park was more than half an hour away, and they spent the entire time chatting and enjoying coffee. When they pulled into the empty parking lot, he was still half-hard from the kiss.

  The climbed from the car and he joined her. “Where to?” Miles asked.

  Ivy swept her gaze around the park, then turned back to him. “Tell me the truth. Why didn’t you want to come up here?”

  Busted. He reached for a new excuse. Some sort of half-truth to shut the topic down for good. Nothing came to him. “It doesn’t matter.”