Roll Against Trust (3d20, #1) Read online

  I slid a hand under my shirt, hidden by the blanket, and pinched my nipple. I had to bite my lip to keep from letting out a groan of pleasure.

  I tweaked and pulled harder, letting snippets of the off-course game roll through my mind. My other hand slid down, unbuttoned my jeans, and dipped under my panties. I really was wet.

  I stroked myself slowly, trying to draw out the moment. Something creaked, like footsteps, and I froze, breath catching in my throat. The noise paused nearby. Would they know I wasn’t asleep? Was I breathing too loud? Not loud enough?

  Would I prefer to get caught, and let whichever of them it was watch, and maybe help? I liked that idea. My clit trembled in response. Seconds later the footsteps resumed, and I heard the bathroom door swing shut. A faint light moved a few inches across the other side of the room, but petered out before it reached me.

  A soft grunting drifted toward my ears. I couldn’t tell which of them it was, but heat and arousal burned through me when I realized it was the sound of one of them jerking off.

  Knowing I wasn’t the only one impacted, and part of me hoping to get caught, I resumed my self-attentions. I closed my eyes and let the faint sound from the bathroom penetrate my fantasy. I stroked my swollen button as I imagined Ryan pushing himself deep inside me, while Seth watched, stroking his own cock.

  The sounds from the bathroom increased in pace and volume, and so did my masturbation. I was so close. I worked myself faster, moving my other hand from my tit to slide two fingers inside me. The penetration was enough to push me over the edge, and I arched my back as I came.

  Seconds later, the grunts from the bathroom grew more frantic and then abruptly stopped. The toilet flushed, the footsteps crossed the room, and a bedroom door closed.

  I sank back onto the couch, mentally and physically spent, and drifted into a solid sleep.

  ****

  I needed coffee in a serious way. Who made people come into the office at six-thirty for a conference call? Besides my boss, apparently. I had a laptop, a cell phone, and a perfectly good pair of PJ’s no one would have noticed I was wearing. I could have taken the call from home just fine.

  In contrast to when I’d arrived an hour and a half ago, all the lights on the floor were on now, and people were filling the desks. I rubbed my eyes to try and wake myself up as I wove through the maze of cubicles back to my own.

  The one nice thing about the early meeting had been that it took my mind off what happened over the weekend with Seth and Ryan. It was just a spontaneous thing, but ever since Friday night, fantasy and images had teased me, most of them involving being pinned between both guys, and feeling hands in more places at once than should have been possible. The reminder sent heat rushing through me, and an insistent throb echoed between my legs.

  Now was definitely not the time to be entertaining those thoughts. Not in the middle of the office, knowing the entire thing had been a game to both of them. Especially after I’d run out of the house this morning without any makeup and no time to do anything with my out-of-control curls besides pull them back and hope my hair didn’t frizz. I just wasn’t feeling the sexy those fantasies required.

  I dropped into my chair with a heavy sigh, but a trace of my exhaustion vanished when I went to log into my computer. A cup of coffee sat in front of my keyboard, with TASHA scrawled on the sleeve in Seth’s familiar block-letter handwriting. Above my name was a pair of horns, with a halo falling off one. Despite my Monday morning grumbles, a smile overtook my face. He didn’t always do things like that, but he’d known I had an unreasonably early meeting today. Maybe everything was back to normal between us after all.

  I sent him a quick thank you over messenger, wishing I had time for more chatting. But there were deadlines to meet, and clients to please. I had only officially been a project manager for about six months, and this was my first solo assignment. So far, everything was going smoothly, and I intended to keep it that way. I dove into double-checking the project milestones to make sure we were on track, and quickly lost myself in time.

  My cell phone rang, and after a brief glance at the “Unknown Number”, I ignored it. I’d learned too much from years of fighting off bill collectors for debts my ex-husband had raked up in my name. One of the big lessons was to never take those calls in the office, especially during months I couldn’t afford another payment.

  I dropped back into what I was doing. The morning noise faded into the background as I worked.

  “Hey, Tash.” Ryan’s greeting dragged me back to the here and now, and his playful tug on my ponytail sent an unexpected, but pleasant, flicker of want through me.

  A brief image flashed in my head of him pulling my hair hard while he slid inside me from behind. I banished the thought before my panties could get too damp, and spun to face him. “Morning.”

  He pulled up a nearby chair, and dropped into it. He studied me for a minute. The attention lasted long enough for concern to flit in. Had I spilled coffee on my sweater? Did I look that bad without any mascara and eyeliner?

  “You look good today.” A grin broke his serious expression. “It’s the blue top with your eyes or something.”

  “Thanks.” The compliment caught me off-guard and heat rushed under my skin. He was just being polite, right? Not like I was going to ask for clarification. I’d take the compliment for what it was. “What’s up?”

  His brows furrowed for a moment, then his casual demeanor slipped back in, and his voice dropped in volume. “Kitner says Zedophap has an issue with their config.”

  It might have sounded like a secret code to anyone else, but to me, Mark Kitner was in senior management and in charge of our department, Zedophap was the client account I was managing, and as the business analyst on the project, Ryan was in charge of working with them to make sure we configured our product to their specifications. And I knew for a fact, after that morning’s phone call, there were no issues or concerns. “Nope. You’re clear.”

  “You’re the best.” He hopped to his feet. “You joining me and Seth for lunch today?”

  “Only if we go somewhere fast.”

  “You’d enjoy it a lot more if we took our time.” He trailed his fingers lightly along the back of my neck, sending pleasant tremors racing over my skin.

  My nipples tightened at the light touch, and my belly clenched. It took every ounce of my restraint not to lean into the teasing gesture with a sigh. This kind of joking wasn’t new for us. I needed to bring my hormones under control. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Killer.” He gave my ponytail a final tug, and seconds later dropped into his own cube.

  As I shifted in my seat to get back to work, the lace of my bra slid across my breasts, making my nipples harder. How had that one little moment turned me on so much?

  “Natasha.” Mark’s sharp tone squashed my growing arousal. “Do you have a few minutes?”

  I’d always hated that question, especially when it came from my boss. If I said I had time, did that mean I wasn’t working hard enough? But if I said I was busy, would it sound like a brush off? Besides, its vague nature frequently meant bad things. I always just settled for, “What did you need?”

  He nodded into his office. “It’ll be fast.”

  That sounded bad. Mark waited until I was seated in one of the chairs across from his desk, before closing the door and taking his own seat. He clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “We have an issue.”

  Shit. I let my concern leak onto my face. “With Zedophap?”

  He nodded. “I just got off the phone with their VP of marketing. Apparently, they started doing some basic user acceptance testing first thing this morning, and nothing is working like they want it to.”

  A million possibilities raced through my head. Bad programming, poor data entry, mismanaged client expectations. Where to start? Oh, right. “They said on the call everything was going fine.”

  He sighed and leaned forward, forearms resting on the edge of his desk,
and fingers interlocked. “That’s part of the problem.” His tone was grave, and his forehead bunched into wrinkles. “They’re not comfortable bringing this up with you, because they say you haven’t handled their concerns in the past.”

  My stomach clenched, and indignation rose inside me. I tempered it as best I could. “I didn’t know there was anything outstanding.”

  “When I gave you this job, I warned you that a project manager has to be the bad guy sometimes.”

  I remembered that conversation distinctly. As I sat in front of him now, racking my brain, I couldn’t think of why that was relevant. “You did.”

  “If there’s someone on this team who’s not pulling their weight, I need to know.”

  My insides wrenched a little more. Did he have someone specific in mind? “As far as I know, everyone’s doing great.”

  He sighed, and looked at his hands for a moment before meeting my gaze again. “I’m trying to be polite about this, Natasha. This is a big client, and we can’t afford to lose them. I understand working as a team, and camaraderie and all that. I’m not asking you to hang someone out to dry with the client, but if you’re having an issue, and you can’t deal with it, you need to tell me who’s causing the problem.”

  He took a deep breath, eyes never leaving mine. “If we lose Zedophap—if they do something like sue us for breach of contract—someone is going to lose their job. I don’t want it to be you if you’re not at fault. If it’s someone else, and we can fix this now, I’d rather do that. I don’t want to have to let anyone go.”

  I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. I might have wondered how idle the threat was, but I’d seen it happen before on botched implementations. The bigger issue was I didn’t know what was wrong. How was I supposed to discipline someone if I didn’t see a problem? “I understand.”

  “I knew you would. I’ll forward you their email. Let’s track this down quickly and deal with it quietly.”

  “Yeah. Completely.”

  His smile returned, and he turned to his computer. “Thanks for your time.”

  I was numb as I headed back to my desk. I was already living on floated checks and past-due promises. I couldn’t afford to lose my job. There had to be a way to make things right. Someone must be overreacting. I’d find the problem, we’d deal with it, and everything would be fine.

  I opened Mark’s email as soon as I sat down. For the next few hours, I pored through everything related to the complaints, and my chest ached more and more as I dug. All indicators pointed to Ryan. And it wasn’t just a little screw-up. It was jaw-dropping, contract-violating, facing-off-a-beholder-who-just-decided-to-tentacle-fuck-us huge.

  I didn’t want to have this conversation. I didn’t have a choice.

  Chapter Three

  “Ready for lunch?” Seth stopped on the other side of my chest-high cubicle, resting his arms on top.

  My stomach growled in response, and I mentally told it to shut up. I didn’t have time for lunch. Maybe I shouldn’t have said yes to Ryan’s invite so easily this morning. Then again, when I’d talked to him I hadn’t known my work world was imploding. I opened my mouth to tell them to go without me.

  “You have to eat.” Ryan slid into the empty spot next to Seth. “Vending machine food doesn’t count.”

  Then again, maybe this would be the perfect chance to ask him what was going on with Zedophap. We could lessen the sting over food and then fix everything when we got back. The snippet of a plan didn’t completely ease my tension, but it helped. I grabbed my purse and locked my computer. “I’m in. Where we going?”

  “Fresh Mex,” Seth said as we made our way toward the elevators. “Fish taco day.”

  Ryan snorted. I rolled my eyes. We all joked and laughed as we walked across the street to the dive that made some of the best food anywhere near the office. Any lingering doubt I’d had about things being awkward after our vocal session over the weekend evaporated.

  We were all predictable with our orders. Seth would get the daily special, Ryan would want a smothered-pork burrito, and I always opted for the tortilla soup—cheap and hearty enough to get me through the day without starving. They let me order first. I handed over my debit card. A twitch throbbed behind my eye when the cashier swiped it, waited a few seconds and then frowned.

  She gave me a nervous smile. “Sorry. Let me try again.”

  There was nothing to worry about. It was just a register screw-up, it would be—

  She handed the card back to me. “I’m sorry. It’s declined. Do you want to pay some other way?”

  Shit. I gave her my most confident smile, and rifled through my purse, pretending to look for cash I knew wasn’t there. It had only been a couple of days since payday. I’d just dropped my rent check off that morning, so there was no way that had cleared yet, and even if it had, I should have had plenty of money left. Embarrassment mingled with my creeping panic.

  A hand rested on my shoulder, the familiar heat drawing me from my spiraling thoughts. “I’ve got it.” Ryan’s whisper was barely loud enough for my ears. His voice returned to regular volume. “We’re together.”

  I gave him a grateful smile as we staked out an empty table and waited for Seth. “I’ll pay you back. I don’t know what happened. I just have to call my bank. Thank you so mu—”

  “Don’t worry about it.” He cut me off before my panic made me ramble out of control. “Chill. Enjoy your lunch. We’re even.”

  “You all right?” Seth asked as he dropped into the empty seat, and set his order number on the edge of the table next to ours.

  I forced a smile into place. I wasn’t discussing my money problems with either of them. It had taken me months to even tell them I’d been married once upon a time. “Typical Monday, you know? Sucky here and there and everywhere. It’ll pass.”

  Seth studied me, pale eyes trying to pry into my soul, and I turned my attention to chasing the ice in my drink with my straw. A heavy silence fell over the table. Someone set our food in front of us, but I was too distracted to dive in. I needed to ask Ryan about the Zedophap project. Just spit it out.

  “Split the difference?” Ryan cut into my hesitation, even though the words triggered an instinct that told me he wasn’t talking to me.

  Seth took a moment to respond. “He is pretty cute.”

  Irritation crawled under my skin. Great. Not this. I followed their gazes toward a couple on the other side of the room. She was short and curvy with straight, blonde hair—basically the exact opposite of my physical appearance. He was okay. Not gorgeous, but better than average, and so immaculately dressed I wondered if his T-shirt was pressed. They were scowling at each other in some sort of silent-argument, death-match-stare-down.

  The point of Ryan and Seth’s split the difference was to find an arguing couple, be the friendly stranger with a shoulder to cry on, and if they did things right, Ryan would go home with her number, and Seth with his. My aggravation bubbled up, carried by the tensions of the day. “Could you two not do this? Just this once? Could you maybe let the arguing couples of the world try and work things out on their own for the day?” I winced at the edge in my own voice. Way to blow things out of proportion, me.

  Two heads whirled in my direction. Seth studied me, brows furrowed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Ryan’s eyes narrowed and he turned back to his food. “Hormonal.”

  That single word, even though a tiny part of me knew he was teasing, broke something inside. I let out a soft growl and turned my attention to him. I adored everything he did for me, and I felt bad snipping at him since he’d just saved me at the cash register, but sometimes it was as if he just didn’t pay attention. Which, now that I thought about it, had to have been what happened at work. “What’s going on with Zedophap?”

  His jaw opened and then snapped shut again, and his brow furrowed. “Um... stuff? You tell me. You’re in charge and you said nothing was wrong.”

  Not helpful. “Except apparently their c
onfiguration is completely screwed up.” I didn’t want to handle things so aggressively. I needed to dial it back, but the morning had destroyed a portion of my control. I had to fix this. I couldn’t lose my job.

  “You told me this morning they were cool. Also, not even possible.” He turned his attention back to his food. “I double and triple checked. Everything is in order.”

  And now he was brushing me off. More of my hesitation evaporated, replaced with annoyance. “Are you sure?”

  He finally gave me his full attention. “You don’t trust me?” A sliver of hurt lingered behind his stare.

  I pulled my gaze away first. How could those dark eyes fill me with so much guilt over something that wasn’t my fault? This wasn’t getting me anywhere. How was I supposed to fix it if he wouldn’t even own the problem? Frustration and ambivalence clawed at my skull, making my head ache. I stared at my soup, not daring to focus on anything else. “Just forget it.”

  “Oh, sure. You throw my reassurances back in my face, and I should just forget it?”

  “Something’s definitely wrong.” Seth cut into the tension.

  I whirled on him. “You think?” I shouldn’t be taking this out on him at all. I needed to stop now. But worry was gnawing my gut alive. If Ryan didn’t take responsibility, my job was at risk. I could fix the problems, but I couldn’t hang him out to dry. I also couldn’t let it happen again. I dropped my face into my hands. Gods this bit. “Did I mention the sucky Monday bullshit?”

  “But you were a little scarce on the details.” Seth scooted his chair closer, and tilted his face until it was under mine. “Boo.”

  A smile slipped out without my permission at his antics. “I’ll fix it. It’s not a big deal.” I didn’t know how I’d do it, but this conversation wasn’t getting me anywhere.

  “You sure?” He traced a line up the top of my leg, drawing away some of my tension. The light contact teased me with ideas that had nothing to do with fixing the issues at work. Of working off all this stress by finding a hidden corner with him. Of letting those skilled fingers roam over me.